A few days ago, I discovered yet another act by a couple that caused our family more financial loss. Anger welled up inside me...and thoughts of striking back filled my mind. I felt betrayed and disappointed. I found myself beginning to justify those feelings (after all they are card-carrying members of the Church and should know better, right?) and then I knew I needed to ask my Father in Heaven for help. That simple recognition alone produced a small measure of relief. With a prayer in my heart and open scriptures in my hands, I opened the door and swept the debris out of my mind. I invited the Savior in and through the words on the page, He spoke to me.
Helaman 12:1 points out that the "Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and prosper those who put their trust in him." Verse 2 then goes on to say how often "at the very time when [the Lord] doth prosper his people...yea, then is the time that they do harden their hearts, and do forget the Lord, their God, and do trample under their feet the Holy One..."
I felt the promise in those verses, but I felt the chastisement even more. I recognized my complaining and anger as a form of ingratitude and a symbolic trampling of His gifts. The things that were lost, were just that...things. I failed to recognize the true gifts before me: the opportunity to learn and grow and show the Lord that I am worthy to be called His own. Things are temporary. Attitude is forever! A little over a year ago, my husband needed a job and insurance. Heavenly Father provided a job and insurance. Months passed and we prayed to be able to have our family back together again. Heavenly Father provided a way for that to happen. The end result is not what I expected, but that doesn't take away the fact that we were blessed with answers to our prayers.
Today is a milestone in my life. Our ninth and youngest child turned 12 years old today. Sunday will be the 27th Primary Program in which at least one of our children has read a part or sung a song. It's hard to think of not having a child in Primary anymore. However, I rejoice at the idea of having another Aaronic priesthood holder in the home. I've noticed our son watching the Deacons pass the Sacrament over the past several months. He even took notes a couple of weeks ago and stuck them in his scriptures! Last week he expressed a desire for the entire family to take him to the temple so he can do baptisms. Wow. All 9 of our children of age and worthy to enter the temple. I am truly humbled as I recognize this greatest of all blessings. Does this mean I am finally growing up?